“You don’t save me. I save me.” – Kim (Season 2’s “Gloves Off”)

You know all those great anti-hero dramas where the male protagonist must keep his secret life separate from his family or love interest?  Or even when the wife is aware of their husband’s misdeeds, they still have little to no power over combating the situation? Carmela Soprano actively turned a blind eye to Tony’s role as mob boss and struggled with the morality of standing by him.  Skyler White became an accomplice to Walter’s meth empire which turned her into a hostage in her own home.  It’s not to say they weren’t strong characters but between shows like The Sopranos, The Shield, Dexter, Mad Men, or Breaking Bad, the female supporting roles always had to duck and dodge the fallout from the misbehavior of the male lead.

To Jimmy McGill’s credit, he clues Kim in on his “extracurricular” activities to a much more alarming degree than male anti-heroes usually do.  The reason being is he absolutely values upholding a romance he finds more real and genuine than that of any conventional marriage.  Kim continues to surprise Jimmy with how willing she is to make their relationship work so he’s been willing to experiment with how translucent he can be with her.  The only pitfall that makes Jimmy no different from any other male anti-hero is his desire for Kim Wexler to fall in line as the wife who’s protected from serving as collateral damage. When the pursuit of his wrong-doings blows back in his face, he needs to keep her as far away as possible, especially after the traumatic carnage he experienced in the desert.

The penultimate episode of season 5 opens with a split-screen montage of Jimmy and Kim.  It’s a humming follow-up to Lola Marsh and Carson Park’s rendition of “Something Stupid”, a song which appropriately opened last season’s episode of the same title.  Where the montage in season 4’s “Something Stupid” aimed to express how much Jimmy and Kim were drifting apart despite still technically being together, the cold open in “Bad Choice Road” shows the difference in physical distance and turmoil between the two, while reinforcing how strongly united they are through that same hardship.  Jimmy and Mike, having overcome an attempt on their lives by a Columbian gang, wander the desert in search of any beacon of hope to their survival.  Kim, having revealed herself to Lalo to get information on Jimmy’s whereabouts and coming up with nothing, is forced to helplessly pace her apartment, blindly awaiting her husband’s return.  This cold open sets herself up as the helpless wife who has to occupy the nest, worried sick over whether Jimmy is dead or alive.  It’s a story we’ve seen play out many times in the anti-hero drama. When Jimmy finally gets a call through to her, she breaks down into tears.  This is not the state either character wishes to be in.

After delivering Lalo’s $7 million to the bail bond agency, Jimmy must get his story straight with Lalo as to why it took him so long.  He shares the half-truth of his car trouble and spins a tale of refusing to hitch-hike because of the risk of losing the precious cargo.  It’s here where he learns that Kim came to visit Lalo and becomes terrified of the very thing Mike warned him about, being that Kim is a part of the game.  When Kim draws an oatmeal bath for a battered Jimmy, he calls her out and makes her promise to stay away from people like Lalo regardless of what she feels compelled to do for his safety.  He refuses to accept that she’s in the game and sets out to push her as far away from the dangerous world he’s mistakenly got himself into.  Kim clearly sees how distraught and shaken Jimmy is, so she honors his wish.

Trying to guide Jimmy towards the lesson to be learned, Kim asks him if this was all worth it.  Jimmy counters with the ultimate answer to wash her of any worries by directing her to the dufflebag containing $100,000 in the living room, completely forgetful of the destroyed ‘World’s 2nd Best Lawyer (Again)’ mug that’s hidden beneath the money.  Kim now knows that he is withholding the entire truth from her, one that is likely owed to something more horribly violent than what he’s lead her on to believe. The next morning, Jimmy’s trauma becomes more apparent to her when he physically recoils and spills his cereal after a juicer mishap.  “It’s just my stomach’s just not ready for this yet,” Jimmy blurts out.  Kim not only has the idea that he hasn’t told her the truth, but she’s bearing witness to the strange impact of his misadventure that’s staring her in the face.

The notion of having a quiet moment at home together doesn’t sit well with Jimmy as it only leaves him to suffer from his post-traumatic stress.  When a client calls for his service, his first impulse is to post-pone but the next second he’s jumping at the idea of helping.  Jimmy is trying to accelerate his PTSD by masking it with the normalcy of his daily routine.  We’ve seen this before back in season 1 when he hustled around the courthouse doing pro bono work after his altercation with Tuco in the desert.  As horrible as watching the skater twins get their legs broken, no mass murder took place and Jimmy managed to have more control over that situation compared to the events in “Bagman”.  As he’s ready to bolt, Kim takes this opportunity to reveal her suspicions of Jimmy’s lies without making it about him not holding up his end of their deal of full disclosure or forcing him to tell the truth.  She just wants him to know that she’s here for him and wants him to feel comfortable telling her whats wrong, promising that she can handle it without judgment.  Jimmy shares the humility of having to drink his own urine as an attempted diversion that doesn’t work on Kim.  He continues to push her further away from the terror he’s endured, but by doing so Kim takes stock of what’s important and only feels more determined to close the gap.

This dictates her next big decision as she’s left pouring legal mumbo jumbo into her recording device and realizes how trivial her work is for Mesa Verde at S&C compared to her marriage to a partner she was convinced might have ended up dead.  A life she’s most happiest and fulfilled with is the one built between her and Jimmy and helping people who desperately need it.  Jimmy and her pro-bono clients go hand and hand with what matters most and she realizes this after he thankfully turned up alive yet psychologically broken.  She wants to fix him but she can only do so if she can get closer.  Although this is danced around, after Jimmy’s big score, money isn’t really a problem as she can still make enough to support them with the work she actually cares about.  Taking all of this into account, giving up Mesa Verde and resigning from S&C is a surprising yet easy choice to make which has been a long time coming.  It’s what she feels is right for her.

Season 5 began with Kim flabbergasted with a man who was fast becoming a stranger to her.  She was fully aware that this Saul Goodman guy was going down a road she had no conceivable plan to be on.  Throughout the season, she made the tough choice of recruiting Saul to help her with Mr. Acker.  Later, she arrived at the shocking decision to marry Jimmy after he went against her wishes to scam Mesa Verde and turned her, again, into a sucker.  Now, after realizing how deeply traumatized Jimmy is after an event she has no detailed knowledge of, she’s willing to commit to him as a partner even further.  The enigmatic transformation of Kim in this show has been impalpable at times, but every beat of it, when taken into consideration, has made sense.  It’s subversive to what we would expect as an audience, considering we’re waiting for the other shoe to drop in regards to why she’s not shown in Breaking Bad.  The writers have had multiple opportunities as to why she would leave Jimmy, but they keep pushing her continued involvement in his life.  You’re only left to wonder what’s the next hurdle that will out-perform itself as the reason for her off-screen exit without it resulting in her death or something against her will.

When Jimmy hears the news of her resignation and the explanation behind it, he’s just as dumbfounded as she was when he decided to change his name to Saul.  Jimmy began the season with clarity as to where the trajectory of his life was heading.  For him, it was the clear cut road from failure to success.  However, with the journey to success came danger.  He’s long reached the point of no return on the road his choices lead him down.  It brought him to a bad place where he’s in way over his head.  He knew the choices were right for him, but he did not foresee the destination those choices would take him and while we know he’ll find himself right back on the ‘bad choice road’, he needs to be rid of the psychological setbacks for the next time he inevitably is.

Kim is also blind to her destination and is now making choices that puts her on the same road as him.  By putting herself in a position that commits herself closer to Jimmy, she’s closer to ‘the game’ than she ever was.  If a guy like Fred from TravelWire can be outside the game without ever making any conscious choice in his life to be senselessly murdered, Kim’s odds of survival are worse.  Her direct association with Jimmy makes this especially true the longer Jimmy is involved with helping a monster like Lalo roam free.  Lalo is somebody who always needs to know the truth but plans to work with a deceptive Saul in the future.  Kim being attached to that world is no good and it’s here where the aforementioned hurdle that is likely to force her exit beyond her will presents itself.

It was only a matter of time before Lalo came to realize that something was fishy about Saul’s story.  Surprisingly, there was never any immediate repercussion to having learned that Saul disclosed Lalo’s true identity to Kim.  Perhaps he realized it wouldn’t matter as long as the impressive amount of bail money came through to ensure his freedom.  Perhaps as long as Saul’s story of going above and beyond for him made sense, he can swallow Kim’s argument of spousal privilege and let bygones be bygones.  After all, Saul was still looking after him by explaining how the bail money and alias Jorge de Guzman will now be investigated by law enforcement.  Still, with Saul’s conveniently obtained information to get Lalo off with bail and the idea that Saul would discuss Lalo in any context to a third party makes it enough to nag at the subconscious and deduce foul play.

Just when you think Lalo is out of the picture as Nacho gives him a ride to meet Tuco’s cousins, you wonder if his suspicions are going to sway towards Nacho or Saul. Keep in mind, there’s still the question as to how Lalo got ambushed by police when Nacho was the last person to be with him.  Jimmy’s story doesn’t add up though as his abandoned Suzuki Esteem is found nowhere in sight within the vicinity of where Jimmy told Lalo the car broke down.  When Lalo finds the car upturned in a ditch with bullet holes on the side, his incessant need to learn the truth becomes as vibrant as it did back when Werner Ziegler swiftly bit the dust.

And just like that, the horror movie plays out.  Darkness has fallen and Kim arrives home by taxi. The camera pushes in close as she approaches the stairs leading to her apartment, fueling the audience with paranoia.  When arriving, we’re shown red car keys in the bowl of the foyer, signifying danger especially since she seems thrown off at the sight of them.  She calls out to the shadowy figure who waits lying on the bed.  It’s Jimmy and from here the scene plays out to feed into Jimmy and the audience’s fear that Kim has made a wildly bad choice that will only put her into the same realm of danger he suffers in.  Watching her leave S&C prior to this could have been interpreted as the writers wrapping her character up and giving her a shred of finality on her own terms before any unfortunate act transpires against her.

Before we know it, Lalo is knocking on the door and Mike is instructing Jimmy to leave his phone on and out of sight so Mike can have access to the impending interrogation.  Lalo forces an exhausted, traumatized Jimmy to retell the story of what happened in the desert.  He makes Jimmy repeat it over and over until the truth is finally revealed.  Intermittently, Jimmy requests if Kim can leave the room as a hopeless, last ditch effort to relieve her of ‘the game’, but we know that’s not going to happen.  Everything in this episode and overall season has built up to the tension of this moment.  Mike also has the crosshairs of his sniper rifle pointed through the window of Jimmy and Kim’s apartment ala ‘deus ex machina’ depending on how the intense confrontation unfolds.

What makes the scene even more nail-biting than the notion of Kim’s survival or that the grisly assassination of Lalo might take place in their apartment, is that Mike is under Gus’ orders not to kill Lalo.  If Jimmy reveals the truth of his involvement with a third party, Lalo will have to be killed and war between the North and South side of the border will break out.  So much is at stake in this scene, but here lies the ground-breaking twist.  The closing scene turns the question of Kim’s fate on its head.  It becomes less about what happens to her in Breaking Bad and more about what would have happened to Breaking Bad without Kim.  Because by stepping up to the plate to defend Jimmy’s story and boldly pointing out the flaws in the Salamanca operation, Kim transcends the well trodden spousal role of helpless victim or proven, capable asset to the male anti-hero.  She not only becomes essential to Saul’s survival but the savior to the entire Breaking Bad universe the ‘bad choice road’ lead him down.  Without Kim, everything’s left in shambles and the story of Walter White would have played out much more differently on a grand scale.

Even Mike in last episode’s “Bagman” underestimated Kim as a frightened little bird who might go to the police.  For Mike to bear witness to her bravery and loyalty, she now has an abundance of credibility in this world.  How she proceeds from here is anyone’s guess.  Jimmy will certainly have no choice but to explain what really happened in the desert and she will reveal how she was already clued into the truth by the destroyed mug.  On the bright side, full disclosure of Jimmy’s trauma with Kim might be exactly what he needs.  He got a good pep talk with Mike, but justifying the bloodshed of those men and the unbalanced world he’s now a part of is too much for him to have a vague no-nonsense discussion with Mike over.  As Jimmy puts it, “I can’t believe there’s like over a billion people on this planet and the only person I have to talk about this to is you.”   The question now is whether Kim can truly accept what Jimmy’s been a part of without turning her back on him. She’s not out of the woods yet in terms of life or death either because now that Lalo has the idea in his head that his operation is out of order, his suspicions will fall on Nacho.

Kim made Lalo see clear as to how little he trusts his men and the hints of Nacho’s betrayal are there for him to figure out.  If Nacho reveals the entire truth when held at gunpoint, Jimmy will certainly be revealed in playing a part in the betrayal.  Mike and Gus still have limited room to work with in terms of figuring out what to do with Lalo once he learns what’s going on, but speculation on the ‘how’ is awfully hazy.  They have to do away with him but in a way that doesn’t raise any suspicion with the players down South.  It’s a big game of chess and pawns are definitely subject to take a hit.  All I know is there has never been a season finale to Better Call Saul where someone hasn’t died and we’re too far into the series for the show not to rise up to the occasion.  Nacho is the most cornered piece in the game as Gus refuses to set him free even when Mike takes it upon himself to speak on Nacho’s behalf.  Mike makes a good point that setting Nacho free will put a worthy dent in the Salamanca operation, but Gus not only values Nacho as a disciplined asset but he doesn’t trust him as a runaway.  The distrust is so strong, he’s willing to kill Nacho for it.

Other thoughts:

Despite how horrible they are, the saddest part for Lalo is how he knew full well exactly what Kim told him in regards to his men.  When Lalo visits Hector and reassures him that things will continue to run smoothly as he lays low down South, he can barely believe his own words.  Tuco will be out in eleven months but he’ll be right back to his hot-headed, drug abusing self.  Lalo knows he can’t trust anybody and the final shot of him watching Hector wheeled against his will to celebrate a senior resident’s birthday only further breaks his heart.  The Salamanca family is dwindling and he hates to see it.

Jimmy loses a softball case to Bill Oakley and is mocked for it.  The hustle in the courthouse to mask his PTSD isn’t working and Bill buzzing triumphantly in his ear doesn’t help. Interesting foreshadowing by Bill that Saul will probably have to change his name again.

Juan Bolsa was confirmed as being the one responsible for the ambush on Jimmy in the desert.  His goal was to make sure Lalo stayed in jail as a way to help Gus, not knowing the deeper intentions Gus has in trying to free Lalo.  Scary stuff.

That leap by Lalo off the cliff and onto Jimmy’s overturned car was awesomely surreal, just as much as it was when Lalo fell from the ceiling at TravelWire.   Saul Goodman’s ultimate nemesis.  Someone who has GREAT knees.

What did everyone else think? Ready for the penultimate seasons’ season finale!?